Today,8th of December.
Yes,i know its been 4 months that i am not wrote this hella blog.
sumpah tak tau apa benda yang aku busy gila...
padahal setiap hari rasa bosan hahahahaha
So,whats going on with my life?
as usuall,i am continue my hella life with emotional.sometimes i still figure out what is point
that i really want for my life...well,this is process of grow up i think so...
dia macam,kadang-kadang sedih nak mampuih dan kadang-kadang tu gelak macam tak ingat dunia.
well,to be honest...growing up its sucks.totally.
whats up with my diploma?
well,to be honest..its getting real.so real..
next year kena pindah campus utama which is at Bestari Jaya.
its not that bad la kalau pindah pun actually...
but jalan nak pi ke bestari jaya tu dari Shah Alam...
seriously,creepy.tak kisah la malam ka siang...
but malam lagi creepy la.
Okay la dalam campus tu boleh chill naik beskal 30 minit free...
but what is my main point...
DEKAT SITU NOTHING.ITS JUST YOU AND THE CAMPUS.
Which is ada la town...tapi its just small town...
nak beli barang arts kena keluar dari situ juga....
which is i can imagine how i am gonna be when i am living there...
by next semester...
Sedangkan duduk di shah alam pun aku mereput dalam bilik yang macam kontena ni
aku tak tau la duduk sana macam mana rupa aku.
hahaahahaahaha
Dia punya bunyi nak kena transfer ke Bestari Jaya tu sebernarnya tak berapa redha.
tapi i have to.for god of sake my diploma.
sisa baki terakhir sebelum habis diploma kena berambus.
its not even funny at all...but its okay...
So back to my life story...
Back on 20th of October,ayah pecen yeay.
to be honest,ayah is favourite among student..student lelaki ka perempuan ka
sama ja...like every his period when heis teaching them...its make all of them
will remember how he is...yes..his character its totally different...
back at home he will be the garang one and mostly he will treat us in silently which is..
painful.but somehow i know he did the best to be the best daddy for us.
and also be the best teacher for his student...
Mostly my school day will be with him.especially when i was 16 until my last year of school.
he is the best....Even sometimes i feel so pissed when he scold me because of the little things...but i know...he loves me more than i could love myself...everyday my day be as "budak sekolah" its arguing with him to be in school early as i can...but what can i do...my dad keep screw that freaking 7:30 AM.well,i am not take that as my benefit as "anak cikgu"....
because i have to...because of him hahahahahaha...setiap hari lunch makan nasik campoq...or cendol.cerita masalah sekolah dekat dia walaupun dia rasa benda tu takdak benda pun...
but he still support me.no matter what...aku tak pernah hiding apa aku dapat dalam periksa.
and back when i was form 5...mid year exam aku fail bm.tapi dia rileks cool macam takdak apa...
padahal cikgu bm aku gelabah berok dah...hahahaaha..bagi dia...ilmu dunia jangan terlalu taksub.and yes,aku tak pernah pi tusyen luar macam mak bapak orang lain bagi.hanya tusyen sekolah dan bantuan rakan-rakan.alhamdulliah.survive.walaupun result SPM aku tak berapa cantik.tapi alhamdulliah takdak fail.dan orang pertama tengok results SPM aku adalah dia...
and dia cakap "okay la tu,dah tak payah nangis *senyum dekat aku*" and i keep holding his hands.even lintas jalan i am still grab his hand in this age....
This convo....ALLAHU SERIOUSLY NAK NANGIS....macam mana nak cakap eh...when you are totally no idea how sad you are and your parents trying to cheer you up...walaupun bahasa inggeris dia sukar untuk aku fahami hahaaha tapi dia cuba.masa ni aku frust.frust sebab tak boleh jawab paper mathematics masa PMR.aku balik terus tidoq and menangis.and mama bagitau aku jadi macam tu sebab paper maths hahahaah..ayah minor dia mengajaq maths.but anak dia semua hampeh maths hahaahha.tapi apa aku boleh cakap dia tak force kami 4 beradik score A.but atleast dia try juga mengajaq malam-malam tapi still tak menjadi sebab kami tak boleh get along serious tu hahahaha.at the end of it dia perhati ja.sebab tu masa depan kami dia cakap...but still he did the best he can...
Ayah,sometimes four of us full of rebellion.but deep inside we are loves you so much.
we are sorry that always disappointed you.like every edge of us.we are human being.
thank you for teaching us.loves us more than you do.everything.
Happy retirement ayah,you are free now ayah.
we are always love you until the end of day....
still october.
Aku kalau nak cakap level menyampah aku dekat dia ni...memang banyak..
sangat banyak..but ya...love hate relationship siblings.benci ka menyampah ka yang tu gak aku cari.
Syahir,he is my brother.and yes selalunya orang akan cakap dia ni boyfriend aku.sebab muka tak sama.ada satu haritu aku naik motor dengan dia...dia nak try awek sebelah kami tu..sekali awek tu sound dia cakap "awek kat belakang pun nak ngorat ka" and i was like "no,i am not his girlfriend do"..hahahahaahahaha..like i am always says to my brother "kalau aku jadi pompuan,hidup hampa dua dalam dalam dunia ni aku tak pilih dua-dua.rela lagi gerak solo hahahahaha"sampai macamtu sekali aku denied...whatever is it,Happy convocation to you.you are now offcially in title as Physiotheraphy.we are proud of you and we are loves you Syahir :)!!!
November.
Yes november rain.its been the saddest months for me last year.
i thought this year will be the cheerish months for me.
but totally nope....
Last year,on 18th of november.i lost my grandmother which is you can read my archieve on November 2016.
This November i lost him...
14th of november,i lost my one and only grandfather.
i dont have the best part of memories with him when i was little...because i am really cranky if mama dont be with me.so they cannot kidnap me to go anywhere hahaha :')....
But,i have strong part of him that in me that i love arts and writting.he just love arts and writting.
the blood still running...and i keep it.and continue what he loves...
i am glad taking my diploma in graphic...when i do my artwork....its keep me remind me of you.
truthfully,its hurt.pain.you missing someone not even coming back to tell you "hey i miss you too"
but i know...Allah loves you and tok more than us do....
we are always miss both of you,we are really do.Al-fatihah...
Basically,what i can says my 2017 getting so hard..
dia mengajar aku apa erti hidup.apa itu benci.apa itu cinta.
its all growing up,life getting crucial.
but i am still keep living with it...
and of course,i still dont believe that i am 20 years old this year...and getting level up
to 21 years old....
SUMPAH RASA TUA WEI,like many things i have to cope.
nak fikir macam mana nak hidup.
dunia dan akhirat.
sangat sukar.
tapi kena berjuang....
i am really sorry for late entry guys,sorry bahasa teraboq...i hope you guys doing well.
thank you sebab sudi baca blog aku.walaupun entah apa aku merepek.
semoga tahun baru membina kita yang lebih baik.
dan tetap berjuang.
Assalamualaikum.
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